It Does Get Worse

An even weirder episode at the office

Part 2 of a previous short story

8:04 AM

I’m in the elevator with a weird colleague I had never seen before. Second weird colleague in a matter of days! As you probably know, the company had been growing like crazy in the past years, and the days when you could say “I know everyone” are long gone.

Long story short, I get off the elevator on the 6th floor and I think to myself: “Damn! That weirdo was turning his back on me all the time! What a jerk!”

As the elevator door closes, he starts whistling.

It’s hard to say it
I hate to say it
But it’s probably me

OK. It’s Probably Me, by Sting. Nice choice. Still a jerk though. I go my way whistling one of Lily Allen’s songs as a tribute to him. You know, the one with a bit of profanity. Bad choice of music, I know, but oh so fitting. Am I being mean? I guess not. These newcomers, I tell ya!

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8:04 AM

I’m in the elevator with a weird colleague I had never seen before. You know the script: the company had been growing like crazy in the past years, etc. This guy looks kind of familiar though. Too familiar. I’ve definitely seen him before. Where… When… Damn! He looks like someone I see everyday in the mirror when I’m shaving!

It’s hard to say it
I hate to say it
But it’s probably me!

Quick! Turn around! Don’t look him in the face! The consequences could be disastrous! Here:

[…] the encounter could create a time paradox, the result of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroy the entire universe!

Doc, scaring Marty McFly — Back to the Future.

As he gets off the elevator on the 6th floor, unaware of the cosmic disaster he and the universe have just avoided, I exhale all the stress that had been building up in my legs and chest. And then it occurs to me. I must start to whistle a specific song. I have to. History has already been altered too much for me to whistle something else. It would only make things worse.

It’s hard to say it
I hate to say it
But it’s probably me!

I also know exactly what he would be whistling back. What I would be whistling back. Not nice!

So here I am, sharing the elevator with my future-past self in a time loop.